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DRUGS,
DRUGS AND MORE DRUGS
I
was born in 1962 in the city of Evansville, In. Having been raised on television, movies, and the “acid rock” of
the late sixties and early seventies, it was no wonder that by the eighth
grade, the seeds of rebellion were well rooted in my heart, as I became “cool”
by using drugs, drinking booze and idolizing the counter culture world of rock
and roll musicians.
I
spent the first 30 days of my freshman year of high school totally stoned out
of my mind. Satan convinced me that I
had the advantage over everyone that was not high. I was arrested that year for the possession of alcoholic
beverages and under 30 grams of marijuana.
The courts slapped my hands and handed me over to the custody of my
parents.
During
my sophomore year of high school, the Dean of Students busted my best friend
and me for smoking pot in the “Boy’s Room.”
That “entitled” the two of us to two weeks of in-school suspension and a
month of detention after school, along with work detail on Saturdays. Despising authority, we would get high
during our in school suspension, before detention after school and during the
work details. In fact, I even smoked
dope during Biology class, study halls, and noon hour lunch, as well as
physical education class. I would do
anything at least once if I thought that I could get away with it. “…And be sure your sin will find you
out.” (Numbers 32:23)
A
month or so after our first arrest, my same friend sideswiped a telephone pole
while stoned. A policeman saw us and we
were picked up again for the same offense:
possession of marijuana and alcohol.
Another hand slap from the Courts had us out on the street in no time
flat. “When the righteous are in
authority, the people rejoice: but when the wicked beareth rule, the people
mourn.” (Proverbs 29:2)
By
my junior year, two other friends and I had developed a five-minute ritual of
downing half a pint of vodka along with smoking dope before school
started. Lunch usually consisted of
sneaking across the street to another friend’s house to smoke more marijuana.
Continuing
in my rebellion, I built a “Hot Rod” 69 GTO with a 454 Chevrolet “Rat”
engine. It was one of the fastest cars
among the high school students in the city.
I would strut my machine around town taunting and daring others to race
me. My parents, concerned about my
safety, due to the fact, that, drugs, alcohol and hot rods do not mix, were
vehemently opposed to my 500+ horsepower status symbol. But I didn’t care what they said, I was just
going to do “my own thing” and let dad do “his thing.”
I
also built an $800.00, 10-speed racing bike.
For the age of 16, I took great pride in being one of the fastest bike
racers in the city. I found that bicycling
helped clean my lungs out so I could smoke more marijuana. “…Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the
proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.” (James 4:6)
So,
by my senior year, I had consumed almost every known drug there was. I would test out anything and everything
that I could get my hands on (although I’d never stoop to the point of sticking
needles in my arm). Yes, that’s where I
drew my line and I drew many lines.
A
lot of my time was spent with my drug-dealing friend who lived in the
neighborhood. We’d crank up his
$15,000.00 stereo set, snort cocaine, and listen to rock bands such as the
Moody Blues and Pink Floyd. We delved
into the pseudo-intellectual magazine “Science of Mind.” There I opened myself up to humanistic philosophy
along with meditation and the occult.
“Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in latter times some shall
depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of
devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot
iron.” (I Timothy 4:1-2.)
One
day, I found out, “Oh no, my drug dealer is a Ho-Mo-Sexual.” Yes, like most big drug dealers, he was a
queer. Being the humanist that I was, I
rationalized it by saying, “I have an open mind. I can accept your alternate lifestyle. I am a tolerant human being.
You live your life your way and I’ll live my life my way. You do not say a word about me and I will
not say a word about you.” “In those
days there was no king in Israel: every man did that which was right in his own
eyes.” (Judges 21:25 “There is a way which seemeth right unto a
man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” (Proverbs 14:12)
In
1980, something “bizarre” happened to my brother’s roommate, Dave; he became a
born-again Christian. He quit partying
with us and started reading the Bible.
In fact, he quit associating with us entirely!
One
night, about 2:30 a.m., during a three-keg party in my brother’s apartment,
Dave came out of his room with a Bible in his hand and a sober look upon his
face. He rebuked we drunkards and dope
fiends and started preaching salvation by faith in Jesus Christ. The room was soon vacated except for Dave
and I. Dave sat down next to me and
opened up the Scriptures.
Dave
got to preaching about chapter 10, verses 9 and 10 of Romans, “That if thou
shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart
that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto
righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”
Hearing
those words of life, I immediately sobered up and started weeping profusely as
the truth of the Gospel hit me. But,
being a lover of pleasure more than a lover of God, I just wasn’t willing to
forsake my sins at that time.
I
justified my sinful selfish life by saying to myself, “I have a job that
supplies all of the money that I need to fuel my hot rod, I have a racing
bike…I have all of the drugs and booze that my head can handle. I have all of the friends that I want. What more could a man need? Besides, I don’t need to be “born again”
…I’m Catholic! Besides, Christianity is
only for the weak down and outer. I
still have life going my way.”
Dave
quickly responded to my many arguments with John 3:3, “Jesus answered and said
unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he
cannot see the kingdom of God.” He
later pounded it home with John 3; 7 “Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must
be born again.”
Filled
with deceitful, arrogant self-righteousness, I continued to resist the Holy
Ghost and I “received not the love of the truth, that I might be saved.” (II
Thes. 2:10) “For what is a man
profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what
shall a man give in exchange for his soul” (Matt. 16:26)
On
June 5, 1980, the night of my high school graduation, I met a very wicked woman
who had a silly mother. This poor
deceived girl fell for the three oldest lines in the fornication handbook. I prompted her with, “I love you.” I coaxed her with, “The only way I can truly express my true love for you is to make
love to you.” I fully persuaded her
with, “If you love me you would.” That’s
the one Delilah used on Samson, I might just as well have said, “I love your
body and want to use it.”
Fact
is, I didn’t even know what true love was.
“God is Love.” (I John 4:8) If
you do not know God, then you do not know true love. You only know a humanistic, self-centered “love” of
silly-sentimentalism or faux emotionalism.
If you are not a Christian, you are incapable of loving anyone
unselfishly because you love yourself supremely. The only thing that we loved was a glandular experience! Lusty, lusty, lusty!
It
was two months later when my girlfriend trepidateously uttered these words,
“Jim, I think that I am pregnant.” Do
you know what I told her? I told her to
get an abortion. I told her that I did
not care which form of abortion she chose, whether it be the coat hanger
method, the vacuum cleaner, or lethal injection of saline solution. All I cared about was not having this “fetal
tissue mass” interrupt our lust-filled, selfish lifestyle. Besides, I had just turned eighteen and I
was not ready, willing or able to accept the financial, emotional, and
intellectual responsibilities for my careless choices.
Distraught
with my conclusion of abortion, my girlfriend counseled with her mother. At first, her mother gave her some good
advice….”wait a few weeks to make sure.”
She waited, and thank God, it was only a false alarm. But then my girlfriend’s mother signed her
up for the birth control pill. It was a
“free-for all” from then on. “He that
spareth his rod hateth his son, but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”
(Proverbs 13:24) Now, you would think
that with the birth control pill and the full consent from her mother that I
would been totally fulfilled. To the
contrary, I quickly discovered what Mick Jagger realized long ago and that is
that “I can’t get no satisfaction.” We
were insatiable!! “Hell and destruction
are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.” Proverbs 27:20
By
this time in my life, I was a full-fledged, card-carrying, rock-n-roll
freak. I would spend hours doing
research into the history of different rock groups. I was particularly interested in the groups from the late ‘60s
and early ‘70s. The musicians that
really caught my attention were the ones that had over-dosed on drugs. I wanted to discover what their philosophy
of life was so that I could benefit from it.
I
learned that their philosophy of life was drugs, sex, booze, and rock-n-roll,
and that it was this lifestyle that drove them right to their graves. I began to see that the performers led two
totally different lives, one on stage and the other off stage. On stage, they were Mr. Super Personality. Off stage, they fought over their drugs,
booze, women and money. They were
miserable hypocrites!
My
ego said, “I can make it. I’ll just
learn their mistakes and avoid them.”
“…Ye shall not surely die…then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall
be as gods.” (Gen. 3: 4-5) Satan whispered in my ear just as he did to
Eve in the Garden of Eden.
By
living the “Free-for-all” lifestyle, I ended up just as miserable as my dead
rock-n-roll idols, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, John Bonham, Keith
Moon and my all time favorite Tommy Bolin.
I finally discovered that I was so low that I was looking up to dead
rock-n-roll idols that were six feet under.
God
began to humble and break me. By age
16, I was an Schwinn factory trained service manager at a major bicycle
shop. But, between the drugs, the booze
and the fact that I was a proud, lazy bum, who came into work stoned most of
the time, my employers quickly saw past my “clean cut” exterior and began to
fire me. I would put on my halo and
innocently ask, “Why?” One by one my
employers resounded the same cold, stark reality “Because you are not working
for me, you are working for yourself,”
Inside,
I knew they were right, but, on the outside, I acted as if it didn’t faze
me. I was doing what I wanted, when I
wanted, how I wanted, to whom I wanted, with whom I wanted, and for my own reasons. My mottos were: “Go for it!” “Fulfill yourself!” “Be natural and if it feels good, do
it!” By age 18, I had already worked
for the four bike shops in town. I was
out of bike shops and out of a job.
Three
months went by without a job to be found.
Now, my hot rod needed gas, I needed drugs and booze and my girl friend
needed a pizza. One Tuesday afternoon
in November of 1980, while going door-to-door looking for a leaf-raking job, I
approached the first house and knocked on the door, but there was no
answer. While waiting, I noticed a sign
on the door that read, “Choose you this day whom ye shall serve; but as for me
and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Joshua 24:15 I continued on to
two more houses. I knocked on the
doors, and still no answer, but there was that same sign upon all three doors.
Amazed
at the “coincidence”, I pondered…three houses, three doors, and three signs,
each saying the same thing? What does
it mean? Just what does it mean?
Depressed
from not finding a job, I decided to ride my bike to one of my hangouts, the
local auto parts store. On the way, I
met someone I hadn’t seen for over six months, my brother’s old roommate, Dave. I stopped to converse and he invited me into
his house. I walked through the
doorway, looked straight ahead towards the wall, and Lo and Behold there was
that same sign that had been haunting me for the past hour. The same sign that read, “Choose you this day whom ye will serve, but
as for me and my house we will serve the Lord.”
In
a “state of shock,” I pointed towards the sign and said, “Dave, this is the
forth time that I’ve seen that sign in the last hour! What does it mean? Dave,
being “instant in season and out of season,” replied, “Jim, God is telling you
that you need to decide today who you are going to serve, whether Jesus or the
Devil.” “Jim, he continued, “you have been a very rebellious person and
this may be your last chance.” “And the
Lord said, My spirit shall not always strive with man...” (Gen. 6:3)
“…behold, now is the accepted time, behold, now is the day of
salvation.” (II Cor. 6:2) Convicted of sin, I agreed to go to his Bible-believing
church that following Sunday. Dave told
me to start reading the Bible beginning in Matthew, which I did.
But,
that Friday night, Nov. 7, 1980, in Evansville, Indiana, there was a Van Halen
rock-n-roll concert. “Now I just can’t
give up my rock-n-roll.” I reasoned. “Not my rock-n-roll music! God doesn’t want me to give up rock-n-roll
music, does He?” Why rock music
glorifies God, doesn’t it?
So,
I stumbled into this Van Halen concert with one intention, and one intention
only. The drugs, the booze, the
rock-n-roll and sex I could get any time and any place. But that night I was going to study my four
idols of Van Halen upon the stage. I
would observe how each member of the group interacted with each other. I studied how each member of the group would
react to the crowd and how the crowd would respond to the group. I had dreams of being a rock-n-roll lead
guitarist myself. I even took a year
and a half of guitar lessons and I dreamed of really going places. Never mind the fact that I never completed
the first guitar lesson book, or that I am tone deaf and cannot keep time. Those were just trivial details to a drug
induced juvenile mind.
The
lights dimmed and with a scream the concert began. As with every concert that I went to, I was fully prepared for
the “experience.” During the opening
stage show performance by Molly Hatchet I pumped my head full of two joints of
Columbian Gold and a pint of Yukon Jack.
When Van Halen appeared on stage, I left my friends and bleacher seats
behind, journeyed through the crowd, finally planting myself five feet from the
stage, right in front of the lead guitarist Eddie Van Halen. I stood there playing my air guitar, trying
desperately to imitate his every move.
David
Lee Roth, Van Halen’s lead singer, would periodically drink from a Jack Daniels
bottle, perform his wild acrobatic feats, and make lewd, obscene gestures
towards his audience. Right in the
middle of the concert, David Lee Roth, while holding a fifth of Jack Daniels in
one hand and a joint of marijuana in the other, shouted to the crowd, “NOT EVEN
GOD CAN SAVE YOUR SOUL AT A VAN HALEN CONCERT!! The crowd of 13,000 people roared to their feet, went ecstatic
and gave him a standing ovation, yelling for more, more blasphemy! They loved his utter defiance of the power
of God to save a sinner at that concert.
I
was quite shocked at the overt blasphemy by David Lee Roth and the overwhelming
approval from the crowd. I
contemplated; “Now why would David Lee Roth say that God can not save your soul
at a Van Halen concert? Why would he
even mention God at a God forsaken place like a rock-n-roll concert? Was it just part of the stage show? Was it just for the money? Now if it was, why did he have such a
compelling look on his face and why did the crowd love it so much?” Just then, David Lee Roth answered all of my
questions by singing their next hit song,
“Running With The Devil.”
I concluded, “Now I know why God can’t save our souls at this Van Halen Concert, it is because we are all “running with the Devil” on “the highway to Hell,” therefore, we do not want God to save our souls for we love our sins more than Jesus! “And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.” (John 3:19) The bare facts hit me right between the eyes as God turned the searchlight on in my heart and aroused my conscience. Out of His love for me, He gave me a revelation of His holiness and my wretchedness, just as He did the prophet Isaiah. God showed me the difference between light and darkness, good and evil, truth from lies, the same things Dave had told me earlier that week, only magnified.
I
faced the reality that there was a God and a Devil and that I was “Running With
The Devil” on the “ Highway to Hell” with “No stop signs or speed limits” to
slow me down. I, along with the crowd
of 13,000 people that night, was living my “Life in the fast lane” on the broad
road to destruction.
God
showed me that I had been deceived throughout my entire life into believing
that Baptism, Penance, “Holy” Eucharist, Confirmation, Matrimony, Holy Orders,
and Extreme Unction were Gods ways of salvation. He showed me that my car, drugs, women, bike, and rock idols were
nothing more than “Dust in the Wind.”
Right
there, in the middle of that Van Halen concert, I cried out to God, “What must
I do to be saved? I want to stop
running with the Devil and start walking with you.” It was at that moment that God, by His grace and mercy, showed me
the ONLY WAY off Hell’s Highway. The
alternate route from sin to Him is to R-E-P-E-N-T and B-E-L-I-E-V-E the
Gospel!!
God
told me to use David Lee Roth’s own words against him to expose Roth a liar and
to prove God true. While Roth screamed,
“Running with the Devil,” I cried unto God,
“God save my soul right here in the middle of this Van Halen
concert! Glory Hallelujah! Jesus answered my prayer, sobered me
instantly and set me free from drugs, illicit sex booze, and rock-n-roll.
Yes,
indeed, for the first time in my life, I did not want any more rock-n-roll
music. So I laid my air guitar down and
headed back to my bleacher seat where my so-called friends were sitting. Satan used them to tempt me with more drugs,
and booze, but for the first time in five years I was able to say, NO! I did not want it, did not need it, and did
not even desire it. I was now on an
eternal buzz. I had reached the all
time high…Jesus Christ! I no longer
needed cheap chemical substitutes for I had obtained the real thing….ETERNAL
LIFE
While
anxiously awaiting for the end of that concert, God showed me the vast demonic
control that was empowering the members of Van Halen. That power was filtering through them and over and onto the
entire crowd of 13,000 people.
Oh,
the Blackness of Darkness that God brought me out of when He transferred me
into the Marvelous Light of the Kingdom of His Dear Son!
That
following Sunday, I could not wait to attend Dave’s Bible-Believing
Church. It was my first ever protestant
church service. At the end of the
service, I went forward to make a public confession of my repentance towards
God and to proclaim my faith in the shed blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. The
Pastor called for the elders of the church to come lay hands on me and
pray. Before I left that Church that
Sunday morning I had been baptized in the Holy Ghost, endued with power from on
high to be a witness unto the uttermost parts of the world that Jesus Christ is
Lord. As I received the gift of the
Holy Ghost, I began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit gave
utterance. I had never even heard of,
nor thought of the Baptism of the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in
other tongues until God gave it to me.
Sinner
friend, I have good news for you, you also can experience righteousness, peace
and joy in the Holy Ghost, if you would only forsake your sinful, selfish ways
and turn to The Lord And Savior Jesus Christ.
Completely forsake all known sin and believe that Jesus Christ of
Nazareth bled and died for you and your sins.
All men choose to be FOR God or AGAINST God. I had to choose…now that you know, you also have to choose
between good and evil, life or death, but choose life that you might live!
If
you have been saved by meeting God’s two prerequisites of repentance and faith
in Jesus then you will know it by God having lifted your burden of sin from off
your back combined with the eradication of the desire for sin. Please, start reading your Bible and start
talking to God…this is called prayer.